Never again
You would never know that sometimes times led you to come to relationship with someone..whom you even had no clue to start those feelings with.
And I, I would never know it…….until I fell deeply into my ex-boyfriend. Again.
Thing was started when I thought that I had to calm my heart. Just so you know guys, my plan was only about repairing the mended things between us, to make things better since he finally dumped me with his nonsensical reasons about his final thesis and his ex-girlfriend who would never stopped chasing him..that obviously made me involved through never-ending heartbreak. But…as the time went by, I was cured. I totally moved on.
In a wink, after we were in cool phase, I felt that he tried to seduce me (because he said he just broke up with his gf and he said he should had someone to catch his hearts as it fell in). I didn’t know what went through my mind, I was trapped to everything he said, and could you guess? We hooked up for second time.
Same like general story when one person fell to another, everything was sweet at the first. We intensively met everyday. We had a date. We laughed. He held the whole of me. And it simply made me fell deep into him. I loved him more.
But weeks later…I suddenly felt that I lost the old him. He started changing. He never let me know where he was at, and you know what made worst? The fact that we seldom involved in intensively communication when my feelings got bigger to him.
And after all, he and I became more distant.
Who could bear with this unhealthy relationship, guys? So, me, myself, decided to keep away from him…hoped things would suddenly become better. And I tried to reduce my love to him, with all my efforts, though it was hard.
And when finally one day he effortlessly spitted that he felt empty doing this with me, I could do nothing but nodded, and it was official then. We both disconnected.
So what I had to do was carrying up my heart again. And knocking him out of my life.
As the months went by..when I almost there, a friend told me that he was with a girl before me. I had to admit that I was surprised. It was not because the news (I didn’t know I felt that he was still in love with her) , but because…..because he still stayed fickle. He blowed hot and cold to most girls. And it came to the real proof that he was..still a same jerk that I knew.
Well, surprisingly, I don’t feel that I have to cry him a river like a year ago when it first happened to me, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, people ever said to me. I just feel lucky guys, I really mean it. Now I know, God still loves me, God knows what’s the best for me and my future by never letting me live my future with him, a fickle guy who forbid me to be one step closer to You.
For the sake of God, I promise myself my heart will never hitch to another fickle guy. It won’t happen again. Never again.
#nowplaying One Republic - Secret
Ivro Vauryn A.
Dec, 4, 2011
